Should you forgo an interview/meeting, if you are not confident about your interviewing skills?

A client of mine told me that an admissions representative at a highly competitive school on the East Coast had said to a group of students touring the campus, "If you present better on paper, forgo the interview. It can hurt you, if you do not do well." I found that particularly odd as most schools promote that they are doing holistic admissions, looking at the whole person. They are assembling a class of people; not papers.

The same thing applies in a job/internship interview or taking the initiative to create a face-to-face meeting opportunity, through networking or informational interviews. Even if you don't feel totally comfortable doing an interview, do you forgo the opportunity to express your interest in the school/job/internship? If you are fearful of new situations, you may talk yourself into a higher level of discomfort, blown out of proportion, which may well stop you from taking the risk.

As an alumni interviewer for over 25 years, I found that even in evaluative college-level interviews, it is exceedingly rare for you to hurt your chances by seizing the opportunity to do an interview. If you are not prepared, it may not be as good as it could be; but, the only way it could diminish/neutralize my write-up was to:

1. Decline to interview or fail to take the initiative to create the opportunity. Not a negative; but not a positive. 
2. Set-up the interview and then (a) not show up, (b) offer no explanation whatsoever, and (c) not reschedule. Yes, I let teens reschedule even if they did not contact me until well after the time we were to meet. But, make no mistake, this will burn your bridges on the job/internship front and can with certain college interviewers; and/or
3. Be rude to me and/or clearly show prejudice or gross indifference to the dignity of others. By this I do not mean saying the wrong/stupid/inept/non-sequitur thing. This happens due to nerves, exhaustion, etc. I am also not talking about social gaffes, e.g. during the trailer for the new TV show Emily Owens, M.D., Emily ruminates about her inability to stop herself from saying something stupid. In response to someone saying they are from Wisconsin, you hear her admonishing herself to not mention cheese. The she blurts out. "I really like cheese." 

So what do you do if you have no time to prepare, feel overwhelmed, nervous and totally unprepared? Admit it. Right at the start, as you sit down and haltingly answer the first question. Admit you: (a) are nervous, feel overwhelmed because you really want so much to go to their school/have the internship/job opportunity (A WINNER- everyone wants to think their opportunity is so outstanding as to possibly strike fear in an applicant); (b) never interviewed before (make sure your resume doesn't negate that assertion or clarify that you got every other job/internship through a family friend/being asked to take it); and/or (c) are absolutely exhausted and cannot think or speak properly. Who hasn't stumbled over words or gotten too little sleep?

By admitting a weakness you bring them to your side; no one is perfect and we all have had to overcome hurdles in our life. Letting them help you to help yourself shows that you are open to improvement. Your blossoming will make them feel better about themselves. Most people like to help others and they will consider it a personal achievement that they were able to make you feel more comfortable.

Just don't say that you "really don't like people." I think that sentiment is what really was expressed by that admissions officer who would rather not meet you unless you present in person as well or better than you present on paper. The mark of a good conversationalist/interviewer is that s/he makes the effort to have the other person comfortable. A little bit of fear/nervousness is perfectly reasonable - the stakes are high. Of course, if you can delay and not harm your chances while you prepare for your interview, either on your own or with professional help, so much the better. To cite the Nike slogan, take the risk, "just do it," I think you'll be happy with the result. At least you will know you tried your best!

Be authentically yourself. Establish rapport. Open doors by winning with words. Making Conversation can assist you to develop responses which are thought out ahead of time, not the "automatic” or “right" response, but your personal best answer. If you communicate effectively with confidence and ease, your answers will persuade the interviewer to become your advocate with the school. Making Conversation can assist you in showing your best self to the interviewer, so they become your advocate for admission.

Contact her at peggy@makingconversation.com or (760) 803-2641.

The Phone Interview: 7 Tips to Present Your Best Self.

Is a phone interview the same as one in person or by webcam (using Skype, G-talk, etc.)? In many respects, yes.
Be prepared. That means setting up the call (preferably by e-mail) so you can both be at your best. If they call unexpectedly and the time is inconvenient, or you cannot devote yourself fully, completely and uninterruptedly to the call, ask to reschedule. You want to be able to shine, showing your accomplishments and skills and why you are a great fit for their opportunity. Be other-oriented, knowing about their company and this opportunity. Use good manners. The phone interview has some unique challenges. Here are 7 tips to make your voice come alive enabling you to promote your best self on the phone.

1. S-M-I-L-E! Smile before you pick up the phone. Your voice will reflect the smile and sound positive and upbeat.
2. Dress up! Wear what you would plan to wear to an interview, including polished shoes! If you are super comfy in your pajamas, that is lovely, but you won't be wearing them to work. To the extent you can recreate the interview environment, you will be better able to act as if you were in a face-to-face interview.
3. Shorten your Responses. Try for 20 seconds to 30 seconds - no longer unless it truly is your best imagery-laden story. We all unconsciously wait for a signal (visual or verbal) to acknowledge the relevance of the response. Because you cannot see them, you might tend to over-talk. They do want to not interrupt you. Follow a pattern: (1) state your point; (2) back it up with illustrative details, being quantifiably specific, e.g., increases/savings by dollar amount or percentages, time deadlines met or accelerated, and/ or increased employee productivity; and (3) summarize! Consider getting a noiseless timer which can assist you in making your responses crisper. When the sand hits the bottom, it's time to "wrap it up."
4. Pause for the technology to catch up. There are the inevitable technology delays. If there is a pause, give them a moment more than you would if you were face-to-face, then ask a question of them which follows up on your response, e.g., "would that be pertinent /relevant to this position?" Also, wait an extra second after they finish talking, so you don't inadvertently interrupt them. If you speak quickly, slow it down just a bit; synchronize with their pace.
5. Use a mirror. Many of us derive energy from an audience. We miss that in a phone interview; so energize yourself.
6. Organize your supporting documentation using manila folder(s). Even if they cannot see you, they can hear you. Reduce the sound of papers rustling by putting each page taped to a side of a folder. Try to have no more than 2 pages of information. Your resume would be on one side and your story prompts on the other. Summarize, highlight, use outlines and make sure you know where everything is. A person can tell when you are reading so DO NOT USE FULL SENTENCES. Know your talking points. Use trigger words - so you know the stories that demonstrate each skill, e.g., for Strengths Teamwork: Constellation project at (prior job or school activity)
Leadership: Organizing Fun Run for ___________(volunteer activity)
Perseverance: Doctoral Dissertation (educational degree) or _____ project at (another prior job)
If you have to have more than two pages affix them to clearly marked manila folders.
7. Stand up/sit up straight. When you speak from your diaphragm you appear more confident. Your voice sounds fuller and likely, if you are a woman, brings it down a bit in pitch and makes your message more easily understood.

What to Wear? What to Wear? What to Wear to an Interview.

Whatever you wear, it should be a neutral, quiet, tasteful frame for the most important part of the picture of you want them remember - your content, enthusiasm for the opportunity, memorable strengths stories and winning personality.

Be time and place appropriate. When in doubt - be conservative and dress up - up to promotion you will earn, when hired, or the profession once you have graduated. Have them see you as a great representative of the institution. Show them the respect they have earned. Don't let anything that you wear, creating your overall visual first impression, detract from the substance you have worked so hard to clearly present to them. Remember, any networking event or "informational" interview counts, so be sure to "dress up" appropriately for these opportunities.

For Adults or graduate school interviews: wear a suit (dark navy/dark grey/black). For men, collared dress shirt and nice tie. For women, pantsuits work in most industries, wear a collared shirt or a suit blouse. You can always check out what people wear if you visit their parking lot at a time when there is foot traffic.

For College Interviews: If at a downtown law firm at 5:00 pm, be a bit more professional. If right after school, at a Starbucks or local coffee shop, wear something nice, but something you could have worn to school. Wear what your conservative grandparents would like, if they were taking the family out to a nice meal or during a formal Thanksgiving.
Boys: Wear a collared long sleeve dress shirt and nice pants. A tie is optional; only wear one if you feel comfortable doing do. A polo shirt and khakis also work well, but bring a sweater or jacket to finish off your look.
Girls: Wear a nice top and pants or skirt. Carry a sweater or jacket, to finish off your look.

Shoes: Dress shoes work best (unless it takes place at an outdoor or recreational environment). Make sure that you have already broken in the shoes as you might be doing a lot of walking and want to be able to walk, not hobble. Shoes should cover your toes and heels not be too high. Boots with low heels work so long as they are discrete. Be sure to make sure that whatever you wear they are polished, front and back!

Jewelry: Think tasteful, small or none at all, do not wear anything that dangles from the ears. Avoid anything that makes noise. Consider wearing a watch. If you have body piercings or body art, consider hiding the art and removing jewelry from the non-ear piercings. Females, wear one earring per ear. Males, if you wear earrings, consider removing them.

Fragrances and Cologne: Don't put them on or spray them in the air and walk through them. Many people have fragrance sensitivities. Less is more when it comes to jewelry and fragrances.

Hair: Get a haircut a few days before the interview. Make sure that they can see your eyes. Anyone can use hair product. Females have more options and can also use combs or barrettes. If anything moves our eyes are attracted to it. If you pin/pull back your hair; you won't play with it! But, use caution wearing your hair in a tight bun, if you aren't a dancer.

This advice does not apply as much if you are applying to an art, fashion, performing arts school or workplace where style or individualism is an essential part of the entrance/job requirements. Show something of yourself, in an accessory perhaps, just don't overdo it. You don't want them staring at your outfit, distracting them from what you saying.

Above all, road-test anything you wear. Can you sit down? Is anything a bit tight, wrinkled, not supposed to be there, e.g. price tag! Women, bend forward from the waist and look at yourself in a mirror, from the front and then the back. Make sure nothing inappropriate shows on top or bottom. You want to make the interviewer feel comfortable and respected. Let your message be shown in your well-considered stories and talking points, not in any possible negatives arising from the visual or olfactory first impression!

Three weaknesses! But I only prepared one!

Don't you hate it when they ask for more than you prepared in an interview? Being a big believer in being prepared and generally over-preparing myself, they can still throw you a curve. The growing trend seems to be not just one, but three weaknesses!

• Three Weaknesses. Nope. I'm perfect. This is not a winning strategy.
• Three Weaknesses. How do I select among the many. I don't know how I made it this far. Again, not a winning strategy.
• My weaknesses are: I am a bit too smart; I work too hard-devote myself too much to my work. Again, not a winning strategy as these are just boasts - pandering to the interviewer.

Pick something as a weakness that:
• is true (raised in prior performance reviews, told to you by others or you have observed in yourself) and
• is something that you could work on. Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step in conquering them.

Make sure it is not an essential attribute or skill required by the position. If you want to be a medical doctor, don't say you can never understand how people can study anatomy. It makes no sense to you with all those Latin words. Why be so precise about parts of the body?

What are some common weaknesses, which nearly everyone has experienced from time to time (of course, use your own)- these answers show that you are making progress/trying to change.
• Difficulty: Establishing Priorities (AND communicating with others) when I am under stress .
I take action to understand the various components of the task at hand, how they fit into the larger picture and I get input from others (co-workers and boss) to set priorities. Organizing myself and letting other people know if they are affected by my priorities really helps. I've realized that keeping others informed is ALWAYS appreciated. I now find that others assist me more frequently when I ask them because they have a clearer picture of the task and its impact on the team and our larger purpose.
• Difficulty: Procrastinating.
I now organize the tasks clearly and make a timetable. I stick to that timetable -even putting in false (early) deadlines. I keep in mind that my delaying can impact others as well as the quality of my project. I view others as "teammates" and don't want to let them down by making their lives miserable because I put something off.

By asking the weakness question, the interviewer is looking for maturity, self-evaluation and understanding that you have an impact on others. They want to hear that you take action and work to address/correct your weakness. They are not seeking perfection. We all are works-in-progress. The interviewer just wants to know what you consider your own weaknesses - so he/she can plan for it. Your weaknesses might even complement their own, creating synergistic results. ALWAYS have a clear plan for working on improving your weaknesses. So think about it ahead of time and be that much better prepared to show your best self to the interviewer.

An interview is a command performance. Make your responses come alive each time!

As the world is besotted by the recent Royal Wedding of William and Kate, consider any interview process as your own command performance to highlight your best attributes - customized specifically for them - and discuss any of your "gaps."

Your selection for the next step, the interview, is terrific news. They think that you have the skills and experience on paper and want to find out whether you will be a "fit" for them?

1. Be committed to the moment. You are there - now! Be totally present and focused on THEM, not yourself. Many people get so caught up in planning to get in what they want to say that they miss the connection of being actively present with the person with whom they are interviewing. This goes both ways, of course. You can be committed to being "in the moment" and you can influence their concentration by being persuasive.
2. Listen actively to make sure you understand what they say - or don't say. They will give you clues from which you can try to understand the question behind the question. What is their true business-related concern? Do not just listen waiting to break in and interject what you want to say. Hear them out completely. Is there a subtle nuance, new direction or emphasis?
3. Know, don't memorize. Being effective in an interview is like being on stage. The beauty and excitement of a live performance is that it is NEW EVERY TIME. A good actor keeps the performance fresh, as if they had never done it before and they are there, performing for this audience alone. The actor feeds off the energy in the room, from the other players and the audience itself. If you are speaking from rote memory it comes across as passive, rehearsed and uninterested, as if you have switched to autopilot. Many people go to films in movie theaters because they think the audience reaction enhances their enjoyment; however, the film never changes. It is exactly the same every time. As you may be asked the same questions by a variety of people during the interview process, your response needs to be as lively and committed the third time as it was the first. You can do that by realizing each time is a new LIVE performance.

By the way, sometimes the interviewer may not be as involved in the interview as you are. It will be hard to be persuasive when they are just perhaps "going through the motions." Realize that the interviewer may:
• not like to interview (judge people or even be a people - person),
• not know how to interview (fairly likely, unless the group for which they interview has a structured process) or
• have other, more pressing, things on their mind, related to work or their personal life or health.
Stay actively "in the moment" and you will have an easier time showing your best self to the interviewer as you step on stage during your command performance.

Find out what THEY want and give them what THEY want

It’s that easy. So why is it so darn difficult for you to effectively persuade someone in a job interview that you are their best hiring choice? You know in your heart that you would be perfect for the job; why can’t you explain that to them?

Before you go for the interview,

• Do your research. Be creative in seeking sources. Research them, their market conditions, advertising and public image. Know about their competitors. If you were buying the company or its stock, what would you want to know? It’s past, present and, most importantly, future.
• Reverse your mindset. Look at the job opportunity from THEIR perspective, THEIR needs and goals. Who are they? What would you accomplish in their first week? Month? Year? The more you find out about a job, its people and a company, the more facile you become in putting yourself in their shoes. So, really think about it. Visualize it.
• Act “as if” you own the challenges of the job. What will add to their bottom line profitability? Consider floating an idea by them as if you were already part of their team. You looked at the competition and you wondered based on the growing market for…. Have they considered….? Maybe they have; maybe they haven’t; but you are thinking as if you already worked there! I always notice when someone says “we” referring to a prior or current employer. The interviewer wants that buy-in and loyalty too.

During the interview maintain flexibility. Stay in the moment. No matter how much you may want to show off your research and ideas or tell them about yourself. Job descriptions change and unless you asked for the most recent one (always a good idea -ask HR), they still may be going in a different direction. So LISTEN to them, what they say and what they don’t say. Maybe what you thought they need is not what they think they need.

Remember, they are doing the hiring; follow their agenda, not your own. Confirm and explore what they need and want. If you know yourself and your strengths well enough, you can customize your story to clearly demonstrate that you meet their needs.

To learn more tips and techniques for better communication results, please contact Making Conversation at www.makingconversation.com. Peggy Wallace, Making Conversation LLC. (www.makingconversation.com) can improve your communication skills and enhance your interview preparation.

Present your best self by being authentic and enthusiastically showing your own unique personality; open doors by winning with words.

Contact Peggy for private sessions at Tel # (760) 803-2641 or e-mail Peggy at peggy@makingconversation.com

Be authentically yourself. Establish rapport. Making Conversation can assist you to develop responses which are thought out ahead of time, not the "automatic” or “right" response, but your personal best answer. If you communicate effectively with confidence and ease, your answers will persuade the interviewer to become your advocate.

Author Bio: Peggy Wallace's Making Conversation offers group and private conversational skills sessions as well as private interview preparation, with videotaped interview practice. Interview prep for college, jobs and scholarships assists you in developing clear, concise, persuasive and relevant personal stories which exhibit your individual strengths. Peggy is a graduate of University of Pennsylvania/Wharton School and Boston University School of Law. Peggy was a regional alumna volunteer interviewer for undergraduate admissions to Penn/Wharton for over 25 years. Peggy's business experience includes corporate attorney, fundraiser and financial services sales consultant.

Copyright (c) 2010 Making Conversation, LLC, contact (760) 803-2641 peggy@makingconversation.com

Your Goal: They like you. They “really, really” like you.

It turns out that Sally Field did not actually say this when she accepted her second Oscar in 1985 for Places in the Heart. But it was so often misquoted that she later mimicked her own effusive gushing at the next Oscar award as a presenter.

People want to hire people they like. You will be their officemate, the person they rely upon in the office and representing them to the external world. We all spend a lot of time working these days, so they want their interactions with you to be pleasant. Additionally, they will have to explain their hiring decision, selecting you, to your peers, subordinates, their bosses and everyone who works there and perhaps even their spouse or strangers at a cocktail party or networking event. You should be someone they can be proud to introduce.

The employers I have surveyed, when asked which is more important “skills or fit?” say "fit". Information about fit and, in any event, verification of fit, are determined during the interview. If the employee can get along with co-workers and mesh with the corporate culture, Employers are happy to teach them the skills they need to effectively do their job now and in the future. Employers want a team player, someone who can collaborate with others to get the job done.

Show your personality during the interview. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. If you interview one way and actually are another, the employer will resent the “bait and switch” and chances are it may not be a good fit for either of you of you, once you get the job. Sally Field actually said “you like me, right now, you like me!". Show your best self, but make sure the “right now” doesn’t stop after you get the job. Bring your best self with you every day when you get the job.

To learn more tips and techniques for better communication results, please contact Making Conversation at www.makingconversation.com. Peggy Wallace, Making Conversation LLC. (www.makingconversation.com) can improve your communication skills and enhance your interview preparation.

Present your best self by being authentic and enthusiastically showing your own unique personality; open doors by winning with words.

Contact Peggy for private sessions at Tel # (760) 803-2641 or e-mail Peggy at peggy@makingconversation.com

Be authentically yourself. Establish rapport. Making Conversation can assist you to develop responses which are thought out ahead of time, not the "automatic” or “right" response, but your personal best answer. If you communicate effectively with confidence and ease, your answers will persuade the interviewer to become your advocate.

Author Bio: Peggy Wallace's Making Conversation offers group and private conversational skills sessions as well as private interview preparation, with videotaped interview practice. Interview prep for college, jobs and scholarships assists you in developing clear, concise, persuasive and relevant personal stories which exhibit your individual strengths. Peggy is a graduate of University of Pennsylvania/Wharton School and Boston University School of Law. Peggy was a regional alumna volunteer interviewer for undergraduate admissions to Penn/Wharton for over 25 years. Peggy's business experience includes corporate attorney, fundraiser and financial services sales consultant.

Copyright (c) 2010 Making Conversation, LLC, contact (760) 803-2641 peggy@makingconversation.com